Wild spirit, gypsy soul

Your twenties are your selfish years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. Tinker with shit, travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.

Some days I think I dream too much.
I can never make a plan, because there’s a thousand things I want to do.

It’s funny, because people think I can never make a set plan,
But the problem is, that’s all I want is a plan…
But I can’t nail down the one I want.

I’m a senior in college, and all around me it seems people are figuring out their plans.
Now before you say, “Sarah, you have a plan, you’re moving to Germany”
Please note, my job in Germany is a year-long.

My friends are figuring it all out though,
Maybe they don’t have a job yet,
But they know they soon will and from there, if they’d like, they have more than a year.
I do not, I physically cannot.
My visa will last a year, and then I have two options:

(1) Get the hell out of Germany and land myself right back onto the American soil I know so well.
(2) Figure out how the hell to stay in Germany, even though visas aren’t easy to come by.

I can hear you all now saying,
She’s persistent, Germany is what she wants, she can do this.
And yes, yes I can,
But that doesn’t make it any less scary.

Landing back in America after only year sounds like my personal idea of failure.

Also, if you knew any of my life plan prior to the acceptance of my job in Germany,
You might be questioning, Where does the Peace Corps fit in to her life now?

It’s ironic, isn’t it?
Something I decided to do to help my chances at the Peace Corps is the same thing that might keep me from ever doing the Peace Corps.
I was in Costa Rica when I decided,
I decided right then and there, I was going to join the Peace Corps.
That was my plan, I was going to do it directly after college.

Well a year later I was talking to a Peace Corps recruiter,
She told me my resume was impressive, but I needed MORE.
I either needed more experience with at-risk youth,
or I need more experience with teaching English.

Enter my brilliant idea of being an Au Pair.
What better way to get experience teaching English than living with a foreign family?!
It fit, it followed my dreams, it was perfect.

So that was my plan.
Live abroad in Germany for a year.
Go into the Peace Corps.

But suddenly, practically the second I accepted my position in Germany,
I thought: “I want to stay”
But I also want to do the Peace Corps.
Um, well, that sounds like quite the first world problem, but it’s my real life problem.
I stress about it constantly.
I can’t just give up my Peace Corps dream,
But can I give up my German dream?

When I was a kid, my dad used to tell me I had a one-track mind,
And I guess it’s true,
I gave up the Peace Corps idea so fast when I found out I’d move to Germany.
But at the same time, it hurts thinking I’ve given that dream up.
I think of the lives I could change while working with the Peace Corps,
and I’m reminded again why I want to do it, so I will.

If I can set my mind to it, I can achieve it…
So while my whole life seems unplanned, I do know some of what I want to do…

I want to be fluent in German.
I want to travel the world and see the sights.
I want to meet magnificent people.
I want to change lives.
I want to eat good food.
I want to fall in love.
I want to be tired at the end of the day, but filled with happiness too.
I want to adventure, to bless, and to live…

No plan is a good plan…
For now.

Maybe I’ll take this decade of my life and dedicate it to myself,
I have plenty of time to be a grown-up later.

So, sorry mom and dad, I’m a wild spirit.

same life 75

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