You don’t have to share blood to be family.

Roughly 21 years ago, a young woman found herself in a bit of a situation.
She was pregnant.
As most unplanned pregnancies, she had three choices:
Keep the baby,
Allow the baby to be adopted,
Abort the baby.

That baby was me.

Yes, it’s true people, I am adopted.
Let me give you the fast facts that I have.
I was born in Tulsa, OK.
To a 17-year-old, unwed woman.
At three days old, Kevin and Janet Labude drove to Tulsa, and picked me up.
I’ve never known any other family. 

Every adopted kid takes their journey differently,
I like to think I take mine swimmingly.
I’ve never had an issue about talking about being adopted,
Sometimes I even use it as my “fun fact” in get-to-know-you games.

I’m going to address a few things I’ve heard throughout the years.
There’s no way I could address all the questions and statements I’ve gotten.
So I’ve picked a few, admittedly, the stupider ones.
Honestly though, if you have questions about my adoption, you can ask.

This is going to get sassy, 
If you are sincere and honestly wanting to know my adoption story, I will share it.
Always.
I only get sassy and annoyed when people ask these questions or make these statements maliciously. 

Before we start, let me explain something to you.
My “real parents” are Kevin and Janet Labude.
They’ve put up with my crap for 21 years,
No one is more equipped on this Earth to parent the one and only Sarah Labude.

“How do you know your birthday is real?”
Umm… Well… It’s on my birth certificate.
I will admit, I’ve always laughed a bit at my birth certificate.
The issue date is sometime in November… around 5 months after my actual birth.
Plus I don’t know the laws exactly, but I would assume lying to someone about their date of birth would be pretty illegal.

You can't lie about this Happy Birthday face.

You can’t lie about this Happy Birthday face.

“I don’t belong in my family either”
Well, I’m sorry…
I thought we were talking about my adoption,
But if you’d like to talk about your family issues we can.
I’m sorry you don’t fit into your family, but I do.
However, when I was a kid I did think I didn’t fit in because I didn’t wear glasses and both my parents did…
Then I got glasses… I decided fitting in was overrated.

“Do your parents have real kids?”
Yes, her name is Sarah E. Labude.
She’s pretty swell.
I. Am. Real.
When talking to an Adoptee you need to recognize the difference between “real” and “adoptive”
It’s understandable that I would explain it to you once when we talk about my adoption,
but if I find myself correcting you repeatedly, we’re going to have problems.

“Do you want to know your birth parents?”
Yes and no.
I am interested in possibly knowing my birth mother.
I’ve always wanted to know if I have siblings that look like me.
I however, do not have much of an interest in finding my birth father.
I’ve taken steps to finding my birth mother.
I have a name and a photo, we will see what I do from here.
Queen J is ok with this too, she still knows she’s the only Queen in my life.

“My parents love me more”
Fat chance.
People normally say this statement while being rude, so I get a little rude back.
But really, you’re an idiot.
I’ve seen the figures of how much it cost my parents to adopt me,
They also waited for years and prayed hard for just the right child.
Your parents got landed with you.

“You don’t look like you’re adopted”
Is this a white kid joke?
Just because I’m white with white parents doesn’t mean I’m not adopted…
Yes, I realize I look a lot like my dad.
(God works in mysterious ways)
But you should see a photo of my birth mom, it’s clear where I get my genetics.
And my biological little sister? We could honestly be twins, and everyone agrees.
But thanks for saying I look like my dad,
Queen J tells me he was a good looker back in the day, and I’ll take all the good mojo I can get.

IMG_0428

“How is your life different?”
Well, umm, I don’t really remember the three days before Kev and Queen J came to Tulsa-town…
But I’ve heard that in those three days the nurses thought I was so cute I got extra attention.
So I was spoiled even then.
But honestly, I can’t tell you how my life is different.
Because I’ve never known another life.
I can tell you that the girl you all know today absolutely would not exist if I had not been adopted,
But who that other girl could have been? I have no idea.

“If she loved you she wouldn’t have given you away”
Wrong.
Getting pregnant, going through the pregnancy, and then giving the baby to a loving family is absolutely one of the biggest acts of unselfish love someone can do.
I’ve grown up a lovely life, in a solid Christian home, and been witness to a long marriage between my parents.
I see love day in and day out all around me.
But that single act of love, is unmeasurable.
That one act of love has allowed me to bear witness to every single act of love I’ve ever seen, given, or been apart of.
My birth mother gave me three amazing gifts,
life, love and family.

Queen J wore her fancy glasses to pick up the Princess for the first time.

Queen J wore her fancy glasses to pick up the Princess for the first time.

“Are you ever worried you’ll date someone you’re related to?”
Maybe I am crazy, but this fear has actually crossed my mind.
I don’t even have enough sass to overcome the weirdness of this idea.
I also realize this is a pretty irrational fear, because that just doesn’t happen.
But I don’t know… It’s sketch.

 

All right, well that’s it for now.
There’s a million more things I could cover on adoption,
But I don’t want to ramble forever.
Every one handles their adoption differently.
But I think I handle mine quite well.

Questions. Ask.
I love to talk. 

 

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