The nastiest word I ever heard.

It’s that a gross word?
I think of hospitals, crying family, people going bald.
There is nothing pretty about that word.

In May of this year I got told that word.
I got told that my older brother had cancer.
My brother is one out of two of the strongest men I know.
(The other being my father)

It was told very casually.
“Marshall has cancer.”

Cancer is a disease that messes with the whole family.
I, being me, did a lot of my own research on the topic.
Everything I saw on the particular cancer said he had an amazing chance at survival.
But nothing I saw said he had a 100% chance.
So I lived in constant fear that my brother might not make it.

I had a ridiculously hard time with his cancer.
And I hid that from everyone.
I felt like my worries didn’t matter, that we as a family, had bigger fish to fry.
like killing the cancer.

I spent the summer out in Colorado,
with none of my family around,
which was confusing.
I was jealous that every single other member of the family was near someone else in the family,
so they could struggle together.
I was alone.
I thought I was only being semi-updated, and forgotten about.
I don’t do well with being forgotten

Call me a drama queen, but cancer hasn’t been easy on me.
Seeing my brother weak, and losing his hair (which is his signature look), was hard.
I hated it, I didn’t want to see it.
But at the same time, I wanted to see my brother all the time.
It was conflicting.

Thankfully, The LORD has given our family many blessings with this battle.
Which is why I am happy to say my brother has his last round of Chemo today!!!

“Give thanks to The LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever”
Psalm 107:1

My brother and I pre-cancer.

My brother and I pre-cancer.


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